Sunday, August 16, 2009

Leaving Her

I knew that today would be rough. I've known it since the day she was born. I didn't know it would be this tough. I'll admit, I've been crying off and on for a few days now anticipating our last full day together before I leave her and go back to work. I've tried to spend time away from her this summer so that leaving her wouldn't be so hard, but it is going to be hard. It won't be for a day and then I get her all to myself again. It's back to work everyday. This week, Stephen and his Mom will be taking care of her. Next week she will start going to a lady that lives by my school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and Stephen and Debi will do the Tuesdays and Thursdays. I get the weekends, just me and her. I'm anxious about getting both of us up and ready in the morning, a little scared too. She loves to be held and I'm afraid of getting it all done.

I decided today that I am going to write her a letter. I've been meaning to write it for a while now, but as I get ready to leave her I think it is the perfect time. This will be something that I can give her when she grows up. Something to remind us of how much she means to me. So today, during catnaps, I'm writing. And crying.

I'm gonna miss her huge smiles in the morning, laying in bed just watching each other, her little catnaps, the talking from her bouncer, washing bottles with her in her bumbo, changing her clothes after she spiddles, talking to her to keep her calm while her bottle warms, and SO much more. Most of all I'm gonna miss those moments when its just me and her. Those moments when I just get to hold her and stare into her dark blue eyes and thank God for giving me such a sweet, beautiful girl.

I'm gonna miss my sweet girl.


The Lemleys said...

Sorry Skister :( I know it stinks. She'll be fine...I know that doesn't help, but she will be. Hang in there. Drop offs will get still won't like it, but it will get easier. ((HUGS))